so this is what it all comes down to... i'm here. take me. if i gave it all away would you use it to bring happiness to the ones i love? if i gave it all away, would it mean that i was done? cause i don't need to feel this anymore. i don't need a thing, nothing at all. just you. just you.

happy birthday to me- spotted the 4amBlue just now while driving Jess home...
i'm 19 at 7:18 am.
18 was a good year...

i was at the beach again last night. a northern beach. haven't been there, in a long time. it felt like never. somewhat different people. different circumstances. what can i do?

AHEM. I now officially announce: I M A G E M A P. click on our faces over there. uh-huh. that's right.

i'm so tired of everything. why must it be like this?

so yeah. it's done...for now. i still need to make an image map for the pictures over there...make some links...yeah, that's for another day. i'm exhausted.

i need some time-life cd's.
seriously.
but for now...bed.

i suppose it looks cool. but what's the point? we have no content. all content is on jonathan.4amblue.com. LOVE.

i have nothing. i should want nothing. i am nothing.

so yeah, new template soon...the click-thru is just a taste to things to come :)

the first blog of the day is mine. HA HA.

... alright time for bed.

this just in futureman destroys the world 2044.

p.s. there is nothing you can do about it.

"i opened up a yogurt and underneath the lid it said, please try again...because they were having a contest i was unaware of...but i thought i might have opened the yogurt wrong...or maybe yoplait was trying to inspire me...come on man, don't give up, please try again...a message of inspiration from your friends at yoplait...fruit on the bottom, hope on top..."

it's called creative outlets, Ryan. sheesh. "Oh, I'm Ryan and i like to draw Japanese people fighting, oooooh."

yeah, yeah....i know....look at the time.
i gotta stop this.

seriously.

you and chuck are married to your website. now i know that you guys aren't mormon so this isn't going to work. one day the website will have to choose which one it loves the most and i would to purpose that it loves me the most.

yo, have an idea for a new design for my site. think of the design for "Everything But the Sea". yeah, i'm gonna draw the whole thing. well, most of it. and stick in some random photos and quotes and whatnot. when will i get the chance to do this? i don't know. whatever. the ideas are coming. catch ya later. aw dang, i have nothing to do tonight. better type those NT notes.

Chuck, we need to discuss the future of 4AM. we can't let it get out of hand, and yet we can't let it become stupid and boring. we need focus, a vision. i know, it's really just a side effect of you needing storage space and me hating free web providers, but we need to do something productive with it. brainstorm (while making a cool typewriter template). i'm writing poetry, about the beach (of course). yes, there's a line in it: "i must be obsessed with the sea, i can only think of us sailing away together." poetic jon in coming back, on the prowl. beware.

it's monday. one week til Pedro/Damien. the thought crossed my mind, could i even think about going to cornerstone, if she didn't.

city swallows trees, and i am responsible, cause i am indifferent to these things.

oh my goodness, i'm up late.
jon you're getting a ride home from mark next time.

since when is it 5.30?!?
i thought it was only like, 3.
i guess it's 4amBlue visiting hours every monday, huh?

ok, bed.

a little taste of this weekend: the beach with april, danielle, rebecca, pat grant, and that other guy (sorry if you read this, i don't remember people that well. but then again, who reads this?) i still am quite confused on how this happened. we sung along to Guns & Roses. we were getting along. odd, yet cool, yet i wish it didn't hurt someone else. Souled Out, hadn't been there in a while, worhsip was good. worship was real good. my guitar broke. my heart broke. another step to learning love. this is good. Today has been a bunch of weirdness. going to the Ba'hai temple with amy, getting a call, hanging out with another friend i have not hung out with much. then getting a call from the only person i've wanted to talk to in the last few days. then Mark picking me up for Adult Swim, and we picked up Andrea (and nicole's here watching me type). yeah, Andrea's around, how weird is that. another person on the list. but it's all cool. somewhere in this i had an important conversation, where i learned a lot. where i poured out what my real feelings and motives are. and wow, as i heard myself say these words, i realized how passionate and deep they were. God said these words, cause seconds before i was speechless. Philippians 4:4-7, that'll get me through. LOVE.